All the ways lead to Sakaar
by GrandmasterDiseaster
Summary: A story about the chick with no taser, the hella old god and the even hellier old ruler; everybody loves rubiks cube and yellow; not really though; they fight for dominance; Thor is a passenger; Grandmaster is a fanboy; Topaz is Topaz; Skaar is life; enemies to lovers; slow, very very slow burn; Update every three days. You can also find this story on wattpad and AO3.
1. Chapter 1

Loki was always an expert in avoiding death. In faking death. In taking other's death. And in making others die, if he was to be completely honest with himself.

Making it short he was acquistanced with it on quite a high level.

And he actually never thought he was going to die.

At least not until now.

The first thing Darcy has noticed when she opened her eyes was that she wasn't dead.

Yet.

Because the smell she felt was surely going to kill her soon and what's more it definitely meant she was not in heaven.

The other thing she noticed was that something sharp was pinching her back. She winced and reached under herself trying to find the source of pain.

She caught something in a form of hexagon and when she took it she had to blink a few times to make sure its real.

She was holding a Rubik's Cube.

What on earth?

Darcy slowly and carefully sat down. She felt a bit dizzy at first, but it was no pain. She shook her head trying to guess what the heck just happened.

The last thing she remembered was a desert with some modest building in the middle of it and an indistinct view of Jane's car.

"Damn." She murmured to herself. Her friend's studies were always ending like that. She should have known better then to go for some weird device to the trunk alone, just because she didn't want to spend time with Ian.

Though he wouldn't help her much, if she was to be honest.

After all no one can stop a freakin' tornado, which takes you up in one place and throw you down in the other. The only thing would be that she wouldn't be here alone.

Darcy frowned with anxiety.

Maybe she was dead.

But no, it was impossible. She couldn't imagine herself anywhere not in heaven. The only bad thing she ever did was the way she broke up with Ian. And maybe lying. And informing police about her neighbors little, but loud party, despite the fact she had a much bigger and louder party the day before and nobody called the police.

All right. She wasn't saint, but come on! Nobody's perfect and it didn't mean that she shouldn't end up in heaven.

Only then she started sobering up enough to start noticing things that were farer than her own legs.

Just then she actually realize her glasses were gone and she saw nothing except for few closest meters before her.

Though even without them she could definitely say that it looked like one big garbage dump. And she was sitting on the garbage hill made of bottles, paper and other stuff like this.

Well, that would explain this stench.

Darcy checked her iPhone squinting her eyes. She had no idea where was she, but it was always worth trying.

But no.

She didn't have even a little bit of range. She hid her phone and looked around more precisely.

From every side of the hill there were visible the other huge hills of rubbish. Or at least she thought they were rubbish, because she really didn't see much.

Although, when Darcy turned around to check what was behind her, she felt a little spark of hope.

Not so far away from her there was something what just had to be city that is if the huge column in the middle was, as she assumed, a tall colourful skyscraper.

The way seemed to be easy – not so far away from Darcy, rubbish hills became smaller and the area - flat.

She looked on the way for a moment longer and then, she caught the Rubik's Cube - who knew, maybe she will have time to get bored - then slowly moved and went to the edge of the hill.

When she reached it, she immediately slipped off the hill surrounded by enormous amount of rubbish. She stood up gently trying not to wobble.

Darcy took a deep breath getting ready to her way. She wasn't sure enough what had happen to her to start getting worried about it yet.

She took a few steps ahead, when suddenly she heard somebody's indistinct scream behind her.

She jumped and involuntarily reached for her taser. But just then she realized her glasses weren't the only thing that she's lost. She had to let the device go when she fell.

''Look! It is more food in there!" Screamed the voice. This time Darcy heard the words very clearly, though she couldn't see anybody.

"Is she from here?!" Respond the other. Darcy moved back. Were they talking about her?

"Of course she is not from here, just look at her!"

And just then she saw a huge group of people dressed in rags and scary masks.

Darcy felt shivers running down her spine. She didn't waste anymore time - she just turned around and started to run.

She was stumbling over her own legs or some random garbage stuff that were laying directly everywhere.

She was taking random turns and completely ignoring her surroundings, only to not let them eat her.

That would be an awful way to die.

She was not sure for how long was she running, but when she stopped, because she wasn't able to breath anymore, she heard no steps behind her.

It took her a moment to caught her breath and realize that she actually lost the tail. Only then she also noticed that she wasn't among huge garbage hills anymore - now she was standing on more flat area and, when she looked up she saw something what looked like a spaceship flying towards her.

Suddenly she understood it. It wasn't not only heaven, but also earth.

Before she got to shake away from this observation and think about some logical plan she could follow, she felt a wind surrounding her and a moment later a loud 'bum' as the ship landed.

She squinted her eyes as the door from the machine opened and some tall man around forty years old went out of the ship.

He looked really nice smiling at her cheerfully as he was slowly coming closer.

Darcy pursed her lips wondering if she should run to or away from him. Finally she decided she won't know anything unless she asks, so she cleared her throat and started.

"Do you know what is this place, dude?" She questioned trying to sound confidently.

The man smiled even wider now standing just next to her. Maybe even too close for her liking.

"Yes." He answered laconic, his voice ringing with nice, calming nute, but still being not quite right for Darcy. "You're not from here, right?"

The Midgardian took a step away from the man.

"You didn't really answer my…" But before she got to finish she felt as something cold and round is being sticked to her arm and before she got to do anything she felt strong electric impulse coming through her body - just like this one time, when she accidentally tasered herself.

And the last thing she heard before drifting away were the man words, whispered - or maybe shouted, she was to dizzy to tell - over her head.

"Welcome to Sakaar."

The first thing Darcy heard when she started to get her consciousness back were some gibber coming from ahead of her.

It took her a moment to understand the particular words, but when she did, it started to freak her out at once.

"...unconscious again." Said some male voice, which she didn't ever hear before. "We have to find a different way to neutralize them."

She heard somebody clearing their throat before answering.

"But she is one hundred percent alive." Darcy shivered on that voice. It was definitely the man from before. She tried to open her eyes to glare on him, but she couldn't quite bring herself to do that yet. "Midgardians are just not as resistant on that than other species."

The man who spoke first murmured something in a way she couldn't understand him, until saying more clearly after a moment.

"Don't say not existing words when I'm around." He ordered, evidently annoyed.

"But Midgardians are just…" Started the man from the garbage dump, but the other one hushed him.

"No, no, no, no." He threw out. "It doesn't matter anyway. She missed my presentation, that's the whole point." His voice was very firm. "What am I supposed to do now? Tell her everything myself?"

Only then Darcy finally opened her eyes, just to see as the man from the garbage dump is nodding his head shyly.

The other one - old man in yellow robe, sitting on something like a throne and looking like he owned the place - sighed with resignation.

"Topaz." He turned to the guard - or guardian, Darcy wasn't sure from the place she was in - standing behind him with a scepter.

He didn't have to say anything more, cause they immediately understood what he wanted and gave him this huge, yellow stick they've been holding and came back to their previous place.

Darcy frowned and corrected her position only then realising that she was handcuffed to some chair. It didn't make her comfortable anymore than what happened a second later.

Just when she finally started to see everything more clearly - at least as for lack of glasses - the old man leaned towards the one from the garbage dump and stated.

"You were an awful scrapper, number fifty six. I hope you're sorry." And with that directed the scepter on the other man.

"No, Grandmaster pleeasse…." Was the last thing he got to say before changing in the hot, wet spot on the floor.

Darcy felt as panic is raising in her chest as the, as she supposed, Grandmaster turned in her direction next.

"And her." He frowned a bit. "Got her cleaned up and bring to me tomorrow. I want to know what this items scrapper fifty six found in her pocket are."

With that Darcy felt as her chair is moving away from the ruler and out of the room and she heard someone's footsteps behind her.

She had no idea where was she going, but she decided that anything was better than what happened to that man from the garbage dump.


	2. Chapter 2

When Darcy woke up the next morning the first thing she felt was her numb leg, she barely could straighten up.

She just have spent a night on the shortest sofa she ever saw in something she'd call closet, if it wasn't so cosmically in there.

Well, at least she haven't been melted. There were always some pluses.

She sighed slowly getting up. She immediately spotted some clothes on the back of her temporary bed.

Someone had to leave them there for her the previous day, but she didn't notice, which was quite likely, as she just threw herself on the bedsheets and immediately fell asleep.

Darcy leaned on the back of the sofa to take the clothes.

Surprisingly they didn't turn out to be her clothes from the previous day, but some completely new one someone had to choose for her.

She frowned with wonder checking them up.

They turned out to be a yellow shirt, a silver, long skirt to the ankles and long, purple mantle.

Not the choice she would go with, but not so bad as well.

She quickly changed leaving the grey and dull, but surprisingly comfortable pajamas on the sofa and directing her steps towards the door.

To be honest, she wasn't sure what to do. The Grandmaster, or whatever he called himself wanted to meet her today, but she rather didn't want to meet him.

So maybe, she considered, if she just quickly went down and found the exit she would be able to run away without being noticed.

Of course later she'd meet even more problems - for example the weird people in masks or someone able to use that weird teasing thing Darcy still had hooked up to her arm.

Exactly - she thought to herself forgetting for a moment about the door and the plan and focusing on this little thing - she had to get rid of this.

But once she tried to get it off her arm, she only felt weird electricity next to that spot, on which she shivered and this thing didn't move even for millimeter.

Maybe, after all, that wasn't that good idea.

She shrugged to herself thinking that at least she is not closed in there - or she just didn't hear the lock the previous evening.

Darcy pressed the handle and yes - the door actually were open.

As she went out of the room she thought she'll find herself somewhere in the middle of the corridor, but what she saw was completely different from what she expected.

She turned out to be in the room just next to the chamber she was in the previous day on the audience with the Grandmaster.

She shivered on the memory of this guy from the garbage dump being melted.

The Midgardian quickly shook that thought away and looked around the room more closely.

Today there were definitely more people than before.

She swallowed nervously.

But maybe, just maybe her plan still wasn't impossible to fulfill, she tried to cheer herself up.

The people didn't seem to focus on her too much so she decided that if she's careful enough, she'll be able to leave the room without meeting someone she wouldn't like to meet.

She took a few steps ahead hearing as the door from her closet are shutting behind her - she felt almost like Harry Potter - and just then she heard a loud, demanding voice.

"Oh, the girl from yesterday!" It was the man in yellow robes, who stood in the enter from the other side and evidently just came in. Behind him there stood the guardian with his scepter - now Darcy could definitely tell she was a woman.

The Midgardian cursed under her breath. Her sense of time was as good as always.

"Topaz." Said the Grandmaster with imperial tone looking away from Darcy and pulling his hand towards his companion.

The mortal wasn't sure if what she saw was what she thought it was for she didn't have glasses, but it looked just like her IPhone.

Now she knew she had to stay on Sakaar for at least a few minutes longer.

So she approached the Grandmaster slowly and when he noticed her going in his direction he smiled weirdly and showed her the huge sofa with the gesture.

Once they both sat and Topaz stopped just over them, the old man started.

"First, what's this?" He pointed at - now Darcy was sure of it - her IPhone laying in his hand.

The Midgardian frowned.

So they didn't know what was that, right? If that was so, maybe the old man will be delighted enough not to melt her.

"That's IPhone." She answered finally and slowly, not to offend Grandmaster, took it away from his hand. "Look, it works like that." She pressed the middle button making the screen light up.

The old man gasped.

"Amazing!" He commented. "What else does that MePhone do?"

Darcy smiled to herself halfly because her plan worked and halfly from the name the ruler called her IPhone.

"Well…" She wondered how to put it the best way. "You can find any information on it."

The Grandmaster nodded his head wisely, though Darcy was almost sure he didn't understand how was that possible.

"You know, there's this thing called internet." She explained. "And there's everything. Though I don't have it here."

"Why?" The old man looked seriously intrigued.

Darcy shrugged.

"Cause you don't have satellites, I guess." She glanced at the old man and seeing his expression slowly coming back to less excited, added. "But you can do stuff offline as well. For example play some games or… watch something."

"Watch something…" The Grandmaster repeated with cautious, yet curious voice. "What?"

Darcy frowned trying to remember what good did she have saved on her phone, until she reminded herself.

She had one, very specific bootleg. It wasn't in best quality, but the contents recompensated it.

So before she could stop herself, she spitted out.

"Something great, wanna see Grandy?"

For a moment she didn't receive the answer so she slowly looked up to see the Grandmaster with stunned expression.

Only then she realised she probably shouldn't have called him like that.

"Listen I'm sorry, I…" She started.

"What a creativity!" The Grandmaster laughed suddenly making her jump from shock and looked at her clearly excited. "Grandy!" He chuckled once again. "Amazing, yes, absolutely amazing." He decided and then frowned. "And what's your name, creature?"

Darcy blinked a few times needing a moment to come with herself to order.

"Darcy Lewis." She finally answered. "Though you may…"

But then again, before she got to finish the Grandmaster's mind flew already to some other topic.

"So, what was that great thing you wanted to…" He paused for a moment trying to remind himself what word did she use. "Watch."

Darcy raised her eyebrows on him, but slowly unlocked her phone and went to gallery.

"Hamilton: The Musical. Ever heard of it?" She answered after a moment.

"Is that this spectacle in which everyone dies in the end and there's this guy who walks around and asks everybody if he should live or not?"

Darcy blinked a few times.

"That's Shakespeare, man." She said. "I doubt you'd like it, but I'm sure Hamilton is perfect for you. There's even the character really similar to you."

"Is that a handsome, charming ruler who has respect and money?" Asked the Grandmaster suddenly even more interested.

Darcy laughed to herself.

"You are really good at guessing." She said smiling mysteriously and putting the phone on the coffee table in front of them. "Get ready to be emotionally destroyed." She said and pulled "play".

At first the Grandmaster wasn't as interested as Darcy thought he'll be. He was constantly stopping the video, commenting or wriggling.

But after more or less fifteen minutes he completely drown. He just sat there and when someone came to him to give him something to drink and spoke… well it almost costed him life.

He was so focused on what's going on on the screen that he barely noticed when Darcy said a few words to him and silently left to the toilet.

It took her a while, but when she came back, she stopped dead with crossing the doorstep.

Yes, the Grandmaster was still in the same position, but just next to him there laid a wet spot that stinked with burned body and Topaz stood just next to it with the rule's scepter.

Darcy thought she was going to vomit, but just then she heard the Grandmaster's loud gasp as the - probably - the first act have ended.

"Amazing!" He shouted getting up and looking straight on Darcy, visibly not noticing her terrified expression. "If not for one guy I'd finish a minute ago, but I had to melt him for he was bothering me too much." He looked at the wet poop with disgust and annoyance.

Darcy closed her eyes for a moment, so she didn't have to look on the melted person.

"That's… sad." She assumed carefully.

The Grandmaster took a few steps ahead.

"Now I need a break before the second part." He announced. Only then Darcy opened her eyes. He was now standing just next to her observing her with expression full of desire for new activities. "I'll go for a quick flight around and then will give you a new apartment."

The Grandmaster glanced at the little room he placed Darcy in before with disdain.

"It'll be just next to mine, so I won't have to go far away to meet with you, Darcy Lewis." He smiled now looking back at the MIdgardian, who tried to smile back, but it didn't came out very well. "I'll also place your stuff in there and some clothing."

Darcy nodded slowly, not sure if 'thank you' would be a good type of thanks in this situation.

"So, are you coming with me?" He offered looking at her awaitingly.

The Midgardian sighed.

She knew she probably should go if she didn't want the old man to change his idea about her, but she simply had to rest for at least a bit.

That's why she said.

"No, next time, Grandy."

The Grandmaster shrugged.

"No flight with me, your loss." He stated, but didn't push the topic. "I'll tell someone to get your chamber ready at once then."

And with that words he went away leaving Darcy perplexed and relieved at once in the middle of the place she heard somebody calling the 'game room'.

Loki didn't get to do much, when his sister pushed him out of Bifröst. He instinctively tried to catch on something not to fall but - obviously - it gave him nothing. He felt the air hitting his shoulders. The god started to frantically wonder what can he possibly do to escape death - as he always did - but nothing came to his mind.

A moment later he felt as a few different forces started to spin him around. And he was unable to control or to do anything at all.

He was being dragged in a huge, orange cyclon with a blurred, little hole at the outlet of it, through which he was able to see the ground.

The spinning was getting faster and faster. Finally Loki had to close his eyes, because the particles of dust kept falling into them.

What a disgraceful way to die for a god - he thought and just then the spinning suddenly stopped.

But now he started to fall even faster than before, straight into perfectly visible now, colourful ground.

He closed his eyes again trying to focus on the bright sides - for example that at least no one will probably ever know how his life ended - when suddenly, instead of hitting a hard, though ground he sank straight into a tank of water.

It was painful.

Loki hit the water with his right part of body and it was an awful feeling - but he was definitely still alive.

The god quickly float to the surface and took a deep, saving breath. He just stayed like that for a bit trying to understand what the hell just happened when he heard someone's voice over his head.

"What are you doing on my planet, on my ship and in my swimming pool, fancy man?"

As Loki looked up he saw a medium height, older man in yellow robes. The god threw his hair from his face so he could see better who exactly is talking to him.

When he finally was able to look in his intercultor's face, he actually raised his eyebrows.

That surely seemed like an interesting beginning of new acquaintance.

Also did that man mention that it was his planet?


	3. Chapter 3

When Loki entered the Grandmaster's tower or - more specifically - flew in there he saw tens of different models of spaceships.

Some of them were new even for him.

He started to suspect that they were made only for the Grandmaster, which wouldn't be too surprising looking on impression the old man made on Loki until now.

One of them was the model on which he flew inside and it was one of the most impractical models he has ever seen.

Not that he was too traditional himself, but it was just painfully non sensible to do something like that.

"So, my asgardian Loki." Said the Grandmaster walking out of the ship and standing next to him. "How do you like my collection? The rest of those gewgaws are on other levels."

Loki stifled sneer. The man seemed to be strongly obsessed.

"Truly unparalleled." He judged. "Made on your wish?"

"Yes, mostly." Answered the Grandmaster proudly.

He is almost same obsessed with ships, as Thor is… well, I suppose now was on his hammer - thought Loki smiling to himself.

The Grandmaster looked on him closely and frowned. Then he sighed heavily.

"Now, you're already another person who needs new clothes." He commented probably suggesting water that kept streaming from Loki's clothing every time he moved.

The god couldn't say he wouldn't agree, but looking on the Grandmaster's outfit he didn't think he wanted to convict himself on his mercy.

"I don't think this will be necessary." He said and focused on new clothes he'd like to see on himself - green suit with short armor ending at his waist, extra protectors on his arms and dark, green, space pants. Than he raised his head looking at the Grandmaster to see his reaction and in one moment charmed out himself new clothes.

The old man raised his eyebrows and even opened his mouth.

"Oh, wow, now you're great." He said delighted. "What else can you do with those sparks changing one's outfit?"

Loki frowned. He heard a lot of definitions of his illusions but that one was completely new for him.

The god cleared his throat.

"I'll let myself mention that these was more than just sparks changing one's outfit. I would rather to call it..." But Loki didn't get to end his sentence.

"Oh, you want to say tricks?" The Grandmaster laughed truly amazed. "Show me more, Tricky Loki." He ordered.

Loki sneered. The Grandmaster started to call him Tricky Loki once he heard he is the god of mischief.

He had no idea how he had mistaken those two things, but he did.

Also, Loki was starting to feel the more uncomfortable the more he was talking with that man. He kept making things really awkward, but he wasn't even that wrong - after all his illusions were tricks at some point.

In fact he could as well use the situation and relax a bit. Whatever Hela was doing now, he could do nothing to stop her anyway, so why shouldn't he chill out a bit?

"I would be honored to do so, but my abilities don't work too well, when I'm tired and famished." Lied Loki with ease. "It would be a blessing to nourish and take a rest."

He didn't have to wait too long for reaction.

"Of course, that's actually not bad idea!" rejoiced the Grandmaster. "I was going to feast today anyway… also there's someone I'd like you to meet, so why don't we start now?"

The room the feast was going to take place turned out to be a huge, half glazed hall with a long table next to the wall, few couches, armchairs and a lot of place in the middle.

There were already a lot of people there, mostly standing in the corners or sitting somewhere and talking loudly to each other.

On one side of the chamber there was some music machine and on the other were tables with food.

Loki felt a rumble in his stomach.

Who would think one can be so hungry just after a few minutes of swimming and falling twice during one day?

He definitely went out of shape, while pretending to be Odin.

"I hope you will find something you will relish, Tricky Loki." commented the Grandmaster who didn't step aside from the god since he met him. "I can't wait till your power will nourish and you show me some more of those super powers of yours." He laughed.

"All of those meals look very tempting." Loki answered changing the subject very indelicately as for him and went to the table to take himself something to eat. He took one of the plates laying there and choose - just in case - one of the dishes he already knew from Asgard.

"That's one of my favourite dishes." admitted the Grandmaster. He either really liked it or tried to make Asgardian impressed by his taste. After all he was talking to a sparking person.

Loki sighed. He slowly started to have enough of the man-who-seemed-to-be-a-ruler-here. Of course he knew it was hard to resist him, but commenting every single thing he was doing was becoming more and more irritating.

"I know it from Asgard." Said Loki looking around for somewhere to sit. "They served there almost as exclusive meals as they seem to be in here."

The Grandmaster visibly swaggered.

That's too easy - thought Loki glancing at him discreetly.

Finally the god spotted an empty couch and an armchair next to it. Seemed like as good place to sit as any. He slowly started to walk in this direction.

The Grandmaster went after him and took a place in front of the god.

Most of the time Loki was eating the Grandmaster was talking about something the god was listening only at some part - he was too focused on looking around and judging his situation - but he was answering and commenting from time to time.

The conversation could probably last even longer, but after more or less half an hour some woman with long, brown hair, dressed in yellow shirt, long, silver skirt and purple mantle with gold edges came to them and smiled matey to the Grandmaster.

Loki squinted his eyes.

He could swear he already saw her somewhere, but something was now different about her.

"I was looking for you, Grandy." She said smiling even wider than before. She took a weird device out of hers mantle pocket and showed it meaningly to the Grandmaster.

The old man probably didn't see that, but it didn't escape Loki's notice that something about her expression was visibly fake.

The Grandmaster made a strange grimase, which expressed halfly a strong desire to do whatever you are supposed to do with the thing this woman showed him and halfly wish for continuing the conversation with the god.

"We have a new one, Darcy." He said finally choosing the conversation and pointing proudly at Loki, who raised an eyebrow.

Only now the woman called Darcy - it said Loki nothing at all, but he remembered faces better than names - noticed the Asgardian sitting next to her.

She frowned and just sat there for few seconds looking at the god of mischief until she finally said with a shocked voice.

"Dear Lord, Loki? Thor's brother? I thought you're dead."

And only then Loki finally remembered. He saw her while driving the huge metal robot against Thor.

Now he understood what was wrong about her - last time he saw her she was dressed like a typical Midgardian and - if he remembered well - she had glasses.

"I thought I killed you." He said with a ironic smile. When Darcy frowned, not understanding what he meant he added. "Back in New York."

Darcy opened her mouth in shock and still not understanding what the heck happened, said involuntarily.

"Erik would be terrified if he saw you. And Ian would attempt a murder."

Loki laughed. His posture and head raised high clearly said he is proud of himself.

"You're probably not wrong." He smiled charmingly. Darcy looked at him distrustfully.

"How can you be so calm about this?" The Midgardian glanced at the god with disbelief. "You almost killed Ian's mother and… I don't know… possesed Erik!"

"This way or another." The Grandmaster cut in. "I'm surprised you two know each other."

"In fact we don't." Stated Darcy.

"That was a rather unnice accident." Said Loki at the same time as the mortal.

They both looked at each other irritated.

The god started to wonder what was that mortal doing on Sakaar. He thought they didn't have spaceships on Midgard. Or at least not good enough to get with them farer away than their moon.

He also got worried about one thing - he didn't like the friendly tone Darcy was talking with the Grandmaster and the way the ruler was answering.

That's truth that Loki didn't consider her as danger. He also didn't get to know yet, how the elite system work in there. But it was obvious for him that the Grandmaster hold a power in there.

And the god didn't like having competition.

That's why he said.

"In fact I think I'm ready for a few tricks now."

Darcy looked at him even more irritated than before.

"Just great! The best moment." Said the Grandmaster forgetting about everything else that was happening. "See Darcy, you came just in time to know a few tricks of Tricky Loki."

"Oh, about that." Loki cut in. Maybe now he could finally tell this man that he is not called Tricky Loki "I think you overheard the god of mischief for Tricky Loki."

Maybe that was a bit indelicate, but The Grandmaster didn't seem to catch most of things happening around him.

And he didn't even seem to care.

"So, what are you waiting for?" Wanted to know the old man. Loki frowned impatiently. He hated when people ignored him this demonstratively.

The god sighed and said looking at Darcy challenging.

"Well, I don't think I like having audience."

The mortal clenched her fists and glared at Loki.

"I assure you it will be like I wasn't even there. Mischief." She said trying to keep calm, but still killing Loki with her look.

The god didn't even blink, though he heard her last word perfectly well and wasn't happy at all from it.

"I think I won't be able to ignore that." He pushed. "And then it might fail."

Now he evidently crossed the line.

"Stop your theater "Tricky Loki". I saw what you did in New York." Said Darcy a bit too quietly and dangerously. Loki was almost scared. "Back then you didn't seem to complain about too big au…" Continued Midgardian, but she didn't get to end, cause the Grandmaster suddenly interrupted her.

"Darcy Lewis it's awful to affront the new ones. If he says he will show his amazing tricks only to me…" The Grandmaster stopped to look meaningfuly on Loki, though that wasn't exactly what the god said. "Then don't impose your presence to him."

Darcy swallowed and glared dangerously on Loki. The god just smiled triumphantly and shrugged.

"Come on, trickster, I can't wait to see your sparks." Announced the Grandmaster standing up and both of them started to walk out of the room.

Before they left Loki turned around the last time to see Darcy's reaction. She looked at least confused.

He had to admit his victory in this round satisfied him. But he also had to admit yet another thing.

He wasn't sure he wanted to stay with the Grandmaster by himself.


	4. Chapter 4

The next day the Grandmaster woke up relatively soon as for him. He normally lived a nightlife, similarly to a lot of people on Sakaar - he was waking up around noon and went to sleep when it was already dawn.

So as he was slowly getting ready for the new day - dressing up in his robe, drawing himself a righteous line on his chin and over his eyes - he was practically sure that when he'll arrive at the game room, there will be no one around.

Because of that he even decided to eat in his room (though it took him a while to explain to his prisoner with the job what does he want) instead of outside, as he usually did.

But when after an hour he finally ended up getting ready, took his favorite vehicle and headed with it to the game room, his expectations turned out to be fictitious.

There were, in fact, just a few people in there, but among them was sitting and chatting around, someone he would never suspect to be there at this hour - for no favorite ever before has appeared in the game room before him, not a one time.

That person was, because who else could that be, obviously Loki.

Once the Grandmaster saw him, his humor became immediately two times better (which was a lot, because he already was in a good mood before).

The ruler got off his vehicle leaving it next to the door and started to walk in Loki's direction smiling widely.

But the god was so focused on the mob he was talking to - the Grandmaster decided that it's amazing how someone so royal can talk to people that go out of their bedrooms before noon, so freely - and didn't notice him until the old man stopped next by him.

"Tricky Loki." The Grandmaster put his hand on Loki's shoulder in matey gesture. "So good you're already here. I have something to show you."

He didn't have, but he hoped he will come to some idea in a few next minutes. Also, he really wanted to take the god away from the mob.

Loki looked at him with raised eyebrows and only after a moment smiled slightly at him.

"I wished to meet you as soon as possible this morning." He said and the Grandmaster sighed quietly. That was really nice to hear that. "What do you desire to show me?"

The ruler frowned, still having no idea what. The god has already seen his ships, his food, all the tower, there was not a good participant on the Champion Contest and...

Oh! At that moment the Grandmaster came up with so wonderful idea that he simply couldn't have come on any better one.

"I want to show you a game." He started, trying to sound mysterious, but the joy in his voice was too clear for him to succeed.

"A game?" Loki asked with tact and feeling as the Grandmaster is pulling him slightly somewhere, turned back to his interlocutors to say goodbye, but when he did the place they stood in just a moment ago turned out to be empty.

They are all so shy in here, decided the Grandmaster ignoring the confused look on Loki's face and letting go of his arm, only when he felt the god finally going after him to the side of empty couches next to the window.

"Yes, a game." Continued the ruler. "In who will come on a better idea of a game."

Loki blinked a few times clearly not seeing sense in what he just heard. The Grandmaster could be really weird sometimes... well, most of the time.

The old man didn't seem to notice it that much and simply added, once they both sat on the couches, in front of each other.

"You and Darcy Lewis will have to think about the best game that you know and then I'll choose which one I like more." He was kind of improvising, but he knew he is doing it perfectly well and there's no chance Loki will spot it. He needed a moment to think about the prize though.

During that time, Loki cleared his throat and started delicately.

"I'm not quite certain if..."

"Oh, and whoever wins will be cooked a meal by the loser. And the loser will cook a meal for the winner, himself and me." Cut him the Grandmaster in the middle of the sentence with growing enthusiasm.

Loki winced despite himself. That was the most uncool prize he had ever heard of. If he'll lose he'll have to cook and if he wins he'll have to wat what Darcy cooked. Both options seemed scary.

"Well then!" The ruler raised his voice making few people around look at them and gestured on one of the guards. "Call Darcy Lewis!"

The man he turned to nodded his head quickly and immediately ran out of the game room in the direction of the chamber the Midgardian was staying in.

And about a quarter later Darcy really did show up in the game room. She looked surprised and anxious at once unsuccessfully trying to keep neutral expression when she was sitting on the couch - after all choosing to take place next to the ruler instead of the god of mischief.

The Grandmaster smiled at her wide and before she got to start arguing with Loki, he explained to her the reason why he called her there in the first place.

And when he was doing that her face was slowly becoming calmer, but surely not more relaxed. Actually with every word her confusion and inconvenience grew bigger and bigger, but the ruler simply took it for anticipation on the task he granted her.

Only when he was finally done, Darcy slowly nodded her head and answered trying to look honest.

"Great idea, Grandy." She squinted her eyes to see her interlocutor - and Loki as well - better. "So when do we start?"

The Grandmaster smiled with joy, happy that she likes this idea just like Loki - he was sure about that - did.

"Now. Go on with the ideas." The ruler connected his hands and glanced meaningfully at Loki. "You first."

The god pursued his lips and looked at him slightly unsure if he should say what came to his mind. At first, he felt a huge wave of cringe overcoming him when he only started to think about the 'game' the Grandmaster invented. Besides, the prize was more of a threat than the actual price. And that way, this time, maybe the first one in his life, he really didn't want to win. But as the silence prolonged, he finally decided he won't find anything worse than what he already had in mind and said.

"I propose jumps." He actually wasn't sure what was that, but the name was dumb enough for him.

The worse part was that he also had no idea what will he do when the Grandmaster will ask him what is it about, but what he heard from the old man, wasn't a question at all.

"I know that game." The Grandmaster nodded his head wisely. "Very interesting, yes."

Loki sighed with, as the ruler decided, relief, but in reality, it was more like 'damn it, I could have chosen option b' sigh.

"Now you, Darcy Lewis!" The old man turned to the other one of his favorites with expecting sight. The mortal was looking at him for a moment and wondering if her game will be surely worse than Loki's, until speaking up.

"Try not to laugh challenge with memes." She said with as much seriousness as she could.

The Grandmaster himself looked very serious though.

"Oh, I never heard about it. You need to show it to me." He demanded with the pressing tone, leaning a bit too close to Darcy than she felt comfortable with.

The Midgardian slowly started to take her iPhone out of her pocket and when she was doing that, explaining.

"I show you memes and you can't laugh. If you do, you lose." She said and turned on the device, going straight to the gallery.

"Sounds good, whatever memes are." The Grandmaster straightened up a bit but kept looking in Darcy's screen as she was looking for a folder with memes. "Let's play it right now."

Darcy nodded her head murmuring under her breath.

"Memes are funny pictures on the internet."

The Grandmaster made an understanding expression, though he still wasn't sure what the Midgardian meant and Loki glanced at them a bit unconvinced.

The last thing he wanted to do was playing some mortal games. On the other side of the Grandmaster will like it he won't have to eat what Darcy will cook. But he'll have to cook himself.

Damn it, both options were equally bad.

Finally, Darcy dug to the first meme and showed it to the Grandmaster - who evidently didn't understand what was it about - and then to Loki, who only raised an eyebrow on that content.

"And what, did I win?" The ruler asked with anticipation making Darcy sigh.

"We play until the first person laughs." She explained and to avoid further questions quickly showed yet another meme, which caused the Grandmaster to growl a bit and Loki to raise his eyebrow again.

This way, the game was played for a few dozen more rounds, with each passing one the Grandmaster being more on the verge and Loki being more and more cynic about all this fuss.

In reality, Darcy actually knew what to show to the Grandmaster to break him, but that wasn't her goal. Cause it was to break Loki, whose lofty expression she wanted to wipe off his face.

So other memes were being shown and as Darcy was slowly getting out of her assortment, she had to choose memes she wouldn't actually suspect the god to laugh on, more like the Grandmaster to do so.

That's why, as she went to yet another picture, kind of annoyed by Loki's straight face, she didn't have hope at all. The meme she chose was just stupid - there was a picture of the skeleton holding toilet paper and the description over it, 'Your ass napkins, my lord'.

But as she turned the screen in a way the god was able to see it, she needed a lot of self-control not to shout some inapporactive words out loud.

Loki actually laughed. It wasn't a loud laugh, just a snort, short and cut in the middle as the god of mischief realized how dumb was it.

For a moment he hoped no one has noticed, but he wasn't lucky this time.

"You lose!" The Grandmaster almost shouted smiling at him triumphantly.

"I didn't..." Started the god.

"Oh you did, I saw clearly!" Darcy interrupted him with satisfaction, making Loki feel embarrassed and humiliated even more than a moment ago.

"I did not." He said with a serious voice as he could, clearing his throat when he tried to save his reputation. "It was just a thread grunt."

Darcy laughed on him and even the Grandmaster snorted slightly, making Loki look away in shame. That was completely not like he though this game will turn out to be like.

And, to get the attention out of him, he decided to change the topic as fast as he could.

"Who wins then?" He wanted to know.

The Grandmaster squinted his eyes actually starting to wonder about that. It took him a while, in which time Darcy kept glancing at the Asgardian like on the looser and Loki tried his best to ignore it.

"It's a draw." Decided finally the ruler. "It's a draw which means." He smiled to himself. Only then even Darcy forgot about the previous game and glanced at the ruler with anxiety. "We need to play another game to know who won this one."

Darcy pursued her lips and looked upon the ceiling begging for directly any help. But just then she realized something and before the Grandmaster or Loki got to say some super weird and dangerous idea, she spat out as fast as she could without lisping.

"Paper, rock, scissors."

Both Loki and the ruler looked at her questioning - Grandy with interest and the god with reluctance. Darcy didn't wait for anyone to ask what the rules are about. She simply quickly explained them to both of her interlocutors. And, just as she hoped it will be like, the Grandmaster was more than happy to hear about that idea.

"Go on them!" He waved his hands gesturing for Darcy and Loki to move. "Play!"

Loki glared at his competition. She had the worst ideas of the worst ideas.

He unwillingly repeated Darcy's gesture - clenching one fist and putting it on another and with visible disgust started to hit his fist on his palm, while the mortal said 'one, two, three'.

And when the stakes became clear - with Darcy to show stone and Loki to show scissors - the only thing he could think of was that at least he won't be positioned by the clearly unstable mortal.


	5. Chapter 5

The next day the only thing that Loki wanted was to stay in bed for the next twenty-four hours and never have to cook anything.

And well he could pretend to be sick, he could pretend to be tired, but he wasn't stupid and he knew that he'll have to cook something anyway, but later.

So when the evening came - which meant the time for the Grandmaster to wake up - Loki went out of his room and with pain in his heart headed to the game room.

That will be a humiliation the Odinson's family - and Laufeyson's probably as well - didn't ever experience and never should experience.

But there he was, opening the door to the game room just to see the Grandmaster smiling at him knowingly and pacing around with Darcy, whose expression was full of both malicious satisfaction and slight anxiety - probably because of a perspective of eating a meal, the god will cook, by his side.

"Tricky Loki!" Shouted the Grandmaster happily getting up from his chair and immediately walking in the direction of the god. "Do you have an idea on a meal ready? I hope you do cause oh…" the Grandmaster made an all-knowing pause and raised an eyebrow on the god. "I expect your meals to be spectacular and I can't wait to find out what you'll do."

Darcy, who by this time also walked to Loki and Grandy, snorted under her breath evidently trying no to laugh any lauder on whatever dirty associations did she has.

Loki cleared his throat and answered trying hard to ignore the mortal's smile.

"It's still a secret what." The god answered evasively. "I suppose you'll have to wait until I'll make it."

The Grandmaster looked at Loki amazed and sighed with impatience.

"Well, then better head to the kitchen quickly." He ordered starting to walk ahead. "I am starving for your food."

After that, the ruler left the room expecting Darcy and Loki to go after him.

Both of them send each other the best glare that they had in store and only then headed out as they were expected to.

The kitchen turned out to be a place bearly smaller than the game room, but - unsurprisingly - filled with a much bigger amount of people.

Most of them were - as the Grandmaster liked to call them - prisoners with jobs, but some were just regular Sakaarians, who simply weren't given food by the ruler and had to make themselves their own meals.

For a brief moment, Loki was almost sure he'll be forced to cook next all of those people from… rabble.

But just as he wanted to bury himself six feet deep underground, he heard the Grandmaster's demanding voice.

"Everyone!" He shouted. "Get out of the kitchen immediately! You may come back for three hours and only if I'll be done!"

A few people looked like they wanted to protest, but seeing the Grandmaster's awaiting expression quickly decided against it.

This way, soon, the kitchen was completely empty, all to Loki's disposal.

It didn't fix anything, but at least made it less humiliating, so the god simply sighed and stepped towards the kitchen counter.

The Grandmaster showed Darcy with a gesture to keep quiet and not interrupt the god and they both sat on the comfortable chairs next to the big table.

Meanwhile, Loki just started to wonder if it was possible to use an illusion on the food.

About two hours later the kitchen was all dirty and after two little conflagrations and the Grandmaster and Darcy were served suspiciously pretty dishes.

Loki sat next to them with lofty expression without his own plate before him.

The mortal looked at the god with doubt.

"Was that your first time cooking?" She raised her eyebrow. "It looks a bit too aesthetic for me."

Loki looked at her like she was stupid and the Grandmaster just sighed deeply.

"Oh, Darcy Lewis come on." He started. "You know Tricky Loki can do anything well, why would that be an exception?"

Darcy opened her mouth to explain exactly why didn't she trust the dish, but before she got to, the god cleared his throat meaningfully.

"I think we should begin before the dish gets cold."

But no one really did, because Darcy was too suspicious about anything that came from Loki and the Grandmaster was focused on something else.

"And why don't you have a meal?" He wanted to know.

Loki waved his hand with nonchalance and smiled slightly.

"The smell was enough to nourish me so I decided to give all to the two of you." He justified himself with ease.

The Grandmaster nodded his head with understanding and Darcy snorted.

"The smell is probably the best what that dish has anyway." She commented mockingly, but before Loki got to retort, the Grandmaster cut in.

"Darcy Lewis!" He scolded her. "You didn't even try this delicacy and you're already judging it." The ruler shook his head with disappointment. "Let's feast!"

Darcy clenched her teeth, but seeing the Grandmaster indeed starting to eat with zeal, she didn't feel in the position to comment on the dish in any way.

That is until the ruler didn't choke on the piece of broccoli he just put into his mouth.

For a moment he looked like he wanted to spit it out, but finally, he swallowed it with no little effort.

Darcy raised an eyebrow on the ruler and Loki pursued his lips with an anxious expression.

Only after a moment the Grandmaster looked up at Loki and asked slowly with a bit hoarse voice.

"What… what exactly is that, Tricky Loki?" He squeezed out.

The god raised his eyebrow with well-pretended astonishment.

"An Asgardian dish served for the royal family on the day of coronation. The best of the bests." He explained smiling loftily. "My mother taught me how to make it herself." He lied with ease after a moment.

Darcy rolled her eyes and moved away from the table with the hope that the Grandmaster will surrender and admit that the dish is uneatable (not that she knew that, but she rathered not to try it)

"Oh really?" She commented looking at Loki distinctly.

The god squeezed his eyes dangerously and spat out.

"You don't like it? Or is it just too royal for your vulgar palate?" He provoked her.

Darcy glared at him, but before she got to think of good enough retort the Grandmaster spoke.

"I think it's delicious." He sighed with resignation, not wanting to show Loki that he has a 'vulgar palate' "I never ate anything so good before."

And after that, he carefully took yet another bite doing his best not to frown while eating it.

Darcy only shook her head with disappointment and moved the plate away from herself.

"If it's so good to eat it yourself, Princey." She looked him in the eyes with provocation. "I suppose my palate is too vulgar after all."

Loki gave back her glare and the two of them were just staring each other up and down for a longer moment ignoring the Grandmaster's frowns and sighs when he tried to consume the dish.

"That's what I thought." Answered finally Loki turning away from Darcy and looking back on the Grandmaster. "Everything okay with it so far?" He wanted to know.

The ruler nodded his head slowly trying to smile, but inside wishing he could say what Darcy did - that his palate was too vulgar for the 'royal coronation meal'.


	6. Chapter 6

Darcy woke up the next day full of unpleasant thoughts.

She didn't consider herself a discriminant, excluding or not giving a second chance type.

She mostly didn't look at what awfulness people have done to someone before, if they truly regretted it and wanted to become better.

She even went as a volunteer to help people in prison, when she was on her first or second year of university.

But here it was a whole different situation.

Primo Loki didn't seem like someone who wanted to become a better person.

Secondo he and the Grandmaster together appeared to Darcy as a double volcano, which you are not sure when is going to explode, but you know it will.

And finally tercio, he reminded her about Ian's mother's injuries and what went with that, about her and her friends, which were probably worried sick by now.

What's more, it didn't look like she was coming back anytime soon.

That meant that for not a long time they'll decide she is dead and make her a funeral with an empty coffin.

Maybe at least she'll be on news?

Darcy chuckled on that thought and decided that she has to stick to the bright sides.

Van Gogh also wasn't famous until he died and if that was so maybe she also had a chance.

After all, what's a thing to die for right?

Or maybe more like 'die'.

This way or another what Darcy would be most willing to do was hiding somewhere and trying to find a way to run away.

Except that somewhere in the back of her head she knew perfectly well that once you become someone in Sakaar for the Grandmaster, you couldn't just disappear unless you were melted.

So despite all her thoughts every day she was waking up and going to meet with the ruler and - unlikely - mostly also Loki, which was even more intensive than she thought it could be, for the god got the room just next to her own apartment - probably same luxurious with big bed, private jacuzzi, few armchairs, big table, and personal equally exclusive bathroom.

And it was really bad, cause the god was malicious for her and she was ironic for him, so as one can imagine their relation wasn't going very well.

As for the Grandmaster he either looked like he loved their disputes or despised them - it was hard to say with this man.

Anyway, after the meal that the god cooked for them, the ruler wanted to spend time with both Darcy and Loki and rarely with only one of them - even though the god did everything to provide being in the same room as the mortal.

This day it was just the same. Darcy woke up, dressed as always, took her iPhone (which by the way had like twenty percent by now, which was seriously worrying her for there was no place she could charge it on Sakaar) and went to the game room.

Except that when she did arrive there, she was almost directly hit by chaos - or more precisely guards running on her - that prevalent inside.

And when she thought chaos, she meant it.

The people there were almost directly going crazy about something and she was almost sure she could sense a smell similar to the melting smell.

After the first wave of shock, she wanted to slowly move away and pretend she was sick or something, but just then she felt a strong grip on her hand and a moment later she was pulled by Topaz over the conner and found herself standing in front of the Grandmaster and Loki.

"Darcy Lewis!" The old man looked relieved. "How good you're here already!"

The mortal slowly blinked a few times observing him closely. She was still too surprised to read anything from his unclear expression, so she finally just nodded her head.

"What happened?" She asked with a bit nervous voice and showed the chaos going on around them.

The Grandmaster sighed heavily and rubbed his forehead. He was silent for a long moment and Darcy almost jumped when she heard him speaking again.

"It's gone!" He announced straightening up and looking at her with something surprisingly close to panic.

The Midgardian raised her eyebrows trying to figure out what does he mean. Finally, though she decided there were too many things that could possibly get lost in the tower and asked.

"What's gone?" She said slowly and clearly.

"My scepter! Someone stole it." The Grandmaster clenched his hands. He would probably look dangerous if it was possible while being dressed like him.

Darcy could hear Loki sighing on her right and she glanced at him

"The guards will surely find him." The god tried to cheer him up, though he evidently didn't believe in their abilities himself.

The Grandmaster looked at him not believing in their abilities either.

"They don't know what my gestures mean how do you think they'll find my scepter?" He asked with irritation.

Loki pursued his lips. He saw at least a few alternatives for this situation, but none of them seemed to be satisfying enough for him.

So before he got to figure out which one to propose, Darcy came on one herself (actually choosing the one Loki wanted to avoid the most) and said.

"How about I'll look for it?" She proposed looking at the Grandmaster with a weird spark in her eye.

Loki definitely wouldn't trust that gaze, but the Grandmaster wasn't him and obviously didn't notice anything odd.

"You?" he frowned looking at her. "Didn't you say you got lost out there, Darcy Lewis?"

Darcy shrugged.

"I'll deal." She assumed. "I mean for such a great purpose." She smiled at him with sympathy and slightly patted his shoulder.

The man stared her up and down probably wondering how high are her chances of coming back.

Finally, though, he sighed again and shook his head.

"I can't risk losing two things in one day." He cut her plead.

Darcy winced on the fact that the Grandmaster clearly saw her and his scepter as they were equal.

From the other side, in his case, it wasn't sure if it was an insult or a compliment.

Darcy wanted to argue with the ruler, but just then, Loki cut in.

"I'll willingly go instead." He announced glancing at Darcy with lofty expression.

She glared back at him.

The Grandmaster though didn't seem to notice this exchange of glances. He evidently was more focused on Loki's proposition.

"No." He said suddenly, making up his mind.

Loki looked at him surprised. He definitely didn't expect that answer.

"Why is that, Grandmaster?" He questioned.

Something in the old man's face told him he won't like the answer he'll receive, not even a little bit.

And when it came, he turned out to be very right.

"There's a way that will give you more chances to succeed." He decided. "You'll go together."


	7. Chapter 7

The next day Loki and Darcy were made to go away from the tower to seek the thief - before that, the guards checked all the known places inside.

One of the guards led them out and - almost literally - slammed the door behind them.

Darcy didn't want to look for the scepter - it meant trouble for everybody, including her if she was going to work with Loki.

She had another plan, but once she felt the fresh air surrounding her the first time for days she forgot about it for a moment.

She never thought she will miss the air that much, but there she was - relieved like almost never.

The only thing that kept reminding her about the tower was the metal circle still hooked to her arm.

Finally, she rallied out of her trance and came back to earth.

Her evil-ass plan. She needed to focus.

"So, are you really going to just work for him, now?" Asked Darcy looking at Loki with squinted eyes to see his expression a bit better, the first time since they left the tower. She decided she wasn't going to play hide and seek with him. At least not now. It would be nonsense to lose time.

The god looked at her a bit surprised. Whatever he was suspecting her to do now, surely wasn't an obvious suggestion to ignore the orders.

"You are not as innocent as you look like, are you?" He said with a mockery in his voice. But Darcy was ready for that.

"Well, you look at what you are." She retorted harshly. Loki laughed.

"A young god with supernatural abilities?" He raised his eyebrows.

"I would more call you a full of himself looser with an inferiority complex, but if that helps you sleep at night." She shrugged seemingly unconcerned.

Loki rolled his eyes.

"Listen, about your question. Yes, that's exactly what I'm going to do."

Well, that wasn't an exact answer Darcy wanted to hear. From the other side, she should have suspected that after insulting her interlocutor.

"What for? I thought you wanted to be a ruler, not a minion." She responded.

"Currently my newly known sister is doing my job, so I've taken a vacation." He said ironically. "I suppose now even Thor will have a problem with handling her."

Darcy probably should be surprised that Thor has a sister, but that wasn't too odd after how she spent her last few days so she just let that be.

"Oh, I guess he'll just wave his my mouth a few times and she'll be gone." She shrugged wanting to come back to the topic of the eventual runaway.

But Loki had another idea.

"Wave what?" He frowned visibly disgusted. Darcy felt a bit bad about that, but this expression made her feel better.

That's why she went for it.

"Myuh myuh."

"Don't tell me myuh myuh is supposed to be Thor's hammer?" Loki frowned and looked at her with disgust. "Don't get me wrong, I didn't like this funny weapon of his, but that's just obscene."

Now Darcy just laughed out loud on so hot under the collar god. Who would think that it will be enough to win with him?

"Anyway, I still didn't get my answer." Insisted Darcy. "Are you going to help me with getting the hell outta here or serve this madman pretending to be a ruler?" She provoked.

Unlikely that didn't work on Loki too well.

"What's so hard to understand in word vacation, mortal?" He snorted. "There's no point for me in leaving Sakaar if Asgard is being invaded by my sister, which I'd rather not meet again in the closest future."

"Oh, so you're afraid?" Darcy didn't let go.

"She destroyed Mjolnir." Said Loki visibly having enough of this conversation. "What do you want me to do? Play a hero? That's Thor's job."

Now, that actually surprised Darcy. Destroying Mjolnir? It seemed impossible.

"Myuh myuh? Are you sure we are talking about the same hammer?" She wanted to make sure.

"It's…" Started Loki irritated but stopped when he saw Darcy's satisfied expression. "No, I'm not playing your foolish game, mortal." He announced.

"So what?" Darcy had enough. "We are going to find it, bring back to Grandy and let him close us in the golden cage again?" She asked determined to get out of there.

Of course, she could try alone - without an irritating and surely not exactly sane god of mischief - but that would be pretty much impossible. She couldn't drive a spaceship, she didn't have any money and most importantly her taser and glasses.

"No." Loki looked suspiciously happy. "No one said about 'us." He said with a weird satisfaction in his voice.

Darcy frowned expecting everything but not the pilot to the metal circle she had hooked to her arm.

No way. He wasn't going to!

Except...

He was.

And before Darcy understood what was happening she felt the electricity flowing through all her body and knocking her down once again.

The last thought she had was that she rathered to be the person on the opposite side of the taser.

Well, Loki wasn't proud of himself when he tased Darcy. She was just a mortal without any fighting abilities so even he had to admit he might have behaved a bit too severely.

If Frigga saw that, he wouldn't have life for…

He quickly shook that thought away.

After all, he actually liked it on Sakaar.

He had everything he needed and almost everything he wanted. Minus Thor and pretending to be an old man he grew to despise over the years.

And if staying without unnecessary competing required victims… well, he was willing to pay the price.

Despite that, he still didn't really know where to begin. He saw the thief, yes. But finding anybody, even the most outstanding could be a nightmare on the planet so messy, he had no idea where was he after a few minutes of walk.

That's why after all he decided to do what he could do best - pretending.

He saw the nearby town when he was flying with the Grandmaster to the tower so after losing the way just a few times he found it.

He stirred in the crowd and walked a few hundred meters wondering what could he say. Asking directly rarely worked so he had to be more gentle.

The real question was what should he say to get the answer he wanted?

Finally, he decided it will be best to start it low-key. If his first tactics won't work, he will find a plan B. So he spotted a man least standing out and when he passed him, he quickly changed his form on the guy figure.

No one even seemed to notice - people were too busy minding their own business to watch some random man in the middle of the crowd - so Loki smiled to himself and went to the shopkeeper.

He thought that they always saw the most while sitting there and selling their silly commodity all day, so he took on a nice face and said with a pleasant voice.

"What a nice bracelet. I'm sure my daughter would love it. How much does it cost?"


	8. Chapter 8

While Loki and Darcy were completing their task, The Grandmaster was taking a rest in the tower.

Or at least he tried to because he couldn't stop thinking about his beloved scepter and his emissaries.

First of all, he was hoping that they will find the artifact and bring it back to him in one piece, but second…

He really wanted both of them back alive.

He actually never finished this 'Hamilton' show and he couldn't do that without Darcy and her iPhone. And even if he could, what would give him watching it by himself, if then he wouldn't have anyone to talk about it with. Of course, he could make other people watch that but only the Midgardian seemed to be so well-informed and detailed about everything.

Also, Loki intrigued him. His sparkles with which he could do almost anything - he saw a little something, but the trickster was claiming he can do much more - and his funny phrases.

After all, they were the first people since… well, it was easy to lose good timing on Sakaar, but let's say, a few months, who actually made him want to know more about them and their abilities.

So just after he woke up he tried to do something that would help him stop thinking about prolonged waiting.

He fast decided the only person that could do something about that was his loyal guard - Topaz.

He found her in the game room, as always waiting for him with his - them - well, now without his scepter.

"Topaz." He said. The woman raised her head uninterested and looked at him with her usual expression.

"Yes?" She asked blankly.

"What were you going to do today?" Asked the Grandmaster sitting comfortably on the empty armchair not far away.

The woman blinked a few times.

"Enjoying your companion." She answered. "As always."

The Grandmaster frowned.

"Oh, no no no." He said irritated. "I know what are you doing now. I asked what are you going to do."

Topaz slowly shook her head.

"That's exactly what I'm going to do." She said. "Unless you want to stay alone."

"No." Answered the Grandmaster disapproved. "I don't enjoy being alone, I told you that too many times."

Topaz looked around with wonder.

"How about meeting someone?" She proposed.

"Melting?" The old man looked even more disgusted than a moment ago. "Without proper scepter? That would be a barbarism."

The two of them sat in silence for a moment. The Grandmaster felt even worse now. It's been more or less a week since this weird Midgardian arrived and even less since the trickster from Asgard did, and he already was attached to them.

He was getting old.

"What about the Champion Contest?" Said finally Topaz, but Grandmaster disposed of her with a wave of his hand.

"We have no one knew who could possibly beat a current champion or at least give a good show" He explained.

"And how about the feast?"

"I'm not hungry."

"A talent show?"

"I got bored with it years ago."

"A massage? I think we have a new massagist."

"I'm not sore."

"Maybe a book? There's still this old library on level thirty." Kept suggesting Topaz.

The Grandmaster blinked a few times looking like he tried to remember something.

"You mean this thing full of paper and letters?"

Topaz nodded.

"No, that's too old-fashioned, I already feel old enough." He rejected the idea.

There was a long moment of silence between them again. The Grandmaster sighed. He hunched, feeling tiredness rising in him. A disaster, really.

Could that be just because of his two new favorites? Or the scepter?

He frowned. It had to be the scepter.

Yes, definitely a scepter.

He always found and lost another and other people and he never missed them. Well, almost.

"Maybe a spaceship race then?" Said Topaz suddenly breaking him out of thoughts.

He squinted his eyes wandering about the idea.

That one actually sounded good.

"Yes! That's an excellent concept! Get the ships ready!" He ordered violently waking up, all ready to see the competition.

When Darcy opened her eyes she saw a sky and a tip of the Grandmasters tower above her. At first, she didn't know what happened.

It was worse the first time, but that one wasn't much better. Everything seemed heavy and foggy and the only thing she wanted to do was falling asleep.

She almost lost consciousness again, when suddenly she heard a loud, irritating sound reminding her about the plane's engine.

That made her sober up almost immediately.

She sat on the ground and looked at the source of sound with squinted eyes - she couldn't be sure but it seemed to be one of the Grandmasters spaceships.

Darcy groaned reminding herself how did she get there.

"I'd rather him to be the god of runaways instead of a god of mischief." She mumbled to herself clenching her feasts and frowning.

At first, she wanted to find another way out of Sakaar. Maybe in the city, she would be able to find someone to help her. Maybe they had some public, interplanetary transport.

But she rejected that idea as fast as she thought of it.

Even if there was something like public, interplanetary transport then it wouldn't reach Earth and without any money or anything else someone in space would like to buy, it really didn't matter if she was on Sakaar or anywhere else, if it wasn't Midgard.

Besides something told her that the only way out of there was by the spaceship, which she both didn't know we're - not counting the tower of course - to find or how to drive.

That's why she decided that she'll find the god, find the scepter and then try to convince him once again - this time successfully - to help her with running away.

Darcy got up from the ground and flitted away from the dust from her silver skirt and purple mantle.

She turned her head in the direction of the garbage dump. It was true she already got lost in there once, but she also found there a freaking Rubik's Cube! And if somewhere out there was someone or something able to help her it was surely there.


	9. Chapter 9

After almost a day - or maybe not a day, simply an amount of time that seemed for Loki like day - he lost hope. No one saw or heard anything. Everybody was either not very observant or didn't want to tell him anything.

Honestly, he thought with bitterness, both options were equally possible.

He actually started to wonder about some other plan, but he had no idea what else could he do. After all, he won't just go and knock all over the houses to find the headquarter of some conspiracy groups was.

Loki already almost decided to try for an hour or even a bit less more and… maybe knock in some door in the hope the owners will be a good host.

But then - the first time since hours - he turned out to be lucky. This time he didn't even have to ask anybody.

The answer came to him itself.

He was just going to talk to another person when he heard a loud voice coming from the crowd.

"Zakaary!"

Loki ignored that at first - he heard people calling each other all day.

"Zakaary!" The call repeated, this time somewhere closer.

"Zakaary, I was looking for you everywhere!" Only then, Loki felt someone putting a hand on his shoulder and understood currently he was Zakaary.

The god turned around trying not to look too impatient and took a closer look at the person who called him.

It was a thick man dressed a bit careless with a square face and a relieved expression.

"You will never believe what happened!" He assured. Loki squinted his eyes wondering how should he act. In the end, he chose moderate neutrality.

"What do you mean?"

"Guess."

Well, just great. Now he was totally dead.

"I have no idea what may that be." Answered finally Loki evasively. The man rolled his eyes clearly excited.

"Then you will think through the way." He said. "You wouldn't believe me if I told you anyway."

Loki frowned. He could try to escape from that, but he decided it was an as good option as any. His previous searching didn't come out to be too successful anyway.

"Lead the way then." Said the god and the man he was talking to laughed while finally moving in the direction of some side street.

"What did they gave you in this gin shop?" He asked mockingly. "The last time I saw you so calm you were recovering after this accident with the Grandmaster's spaceship."

Loki raised eyebrows walking behind the guy's back. That was becoming more and more interesting. Also, he was wondering what kind of accident could possibly be.

"I don't know what are you talking about." He said finally hoping that it will help him somehow. The man he was talking to laugh even louder than before.

"Dear Grandmaster on a cracker." He said and turned left. "You really did take something." He laughed again and then he needed a moment to calm himself down, but when he did he suddenly got a bit more serious. "I shouldn't tell, but… it's not the best moment."

"Why is that?"

The man stopped before the door of a little, old house looking like it could fall into pieces at any moment and answer.

"That…" He paused for a better effect and slowly pressed a handle. "...is why."

He opened the door and moved aside evidently inviting Loki to come in first. The god looked at him with wonder but stepped inside at last.

It was dark - the sun has almost set and there was no light turned on - but he could clearly see someone sitting comfortably in the corner. He squinted his eyes to take a closer look at who is that, but just then his newly known mate turned on the light.

Loki blinked a few times trying to adjust his sight to the jarring bulbs. It took him a few seconds, but once he saw everything clearly he noticed one - well two - things immediately.

The first one was the person sitting on the chair.

If it wasn't a thief he was almost sure he saw in the tower - young, maybe thirteen years old boy almost as much thick as the man who invited Loki in - then it had to be his twin.

The second one was the thing the boy was holding tight in his hands.

The Grandmaster's scepter.

Who would suspect that?

At first, Loki wanted to catch the scepter and run away - they would never catch him - but then he realized he was standing in an awfully unfavorable place - between the two men and not next to the door - and he restrained.

He said instead.

"Is that what you wanted to show me?" Loki hoped it sounded at least a bit like a normal speech of Zakaary. "With that scepter…! Where did you take it from?"

"I stole it." The boy showed off with a content smile. "The security sucks there."

"Yep." The man that invited Loki went inside closing the door behind him. "That's my boy. His first mission and he already succeed." And then he looked accusatory at the god of mischief. "And you doubted that it's possible."

Loki didn't have time to doubt, but he could bet that if he was Zakaary, he probably would, so he nodded.

He started to analyze the situation. Now he could easily grab a scepter and run to the door before anybody will catch him, but he wasn't sure if they didn't have some other weapon. Someone who steals the scepter of the ruler can't be completely helpless.

Finally, he decided on a different plan.

"You have to try it." He said. "What if we've got a fake one?"

"Stop being so suspicious." The man rolled his eyes. "You know you wouldn't like to try it. You saw how it works."

"Not all scepters work the same." Insisted Loki.

"Goddamnit, Zak." The man lost his patience. "These visit in wherever you just been completely messed your mind, you are not yourself today."

"No, dad, let him try." The boy looked rather gloomy now. He pulled a scepter in Loki's side. "If he wishes to become a tyrant he always wanted to destroy, then let him."

Loki didn't wait any longer. He grabbed a scepter but instead of trying to meet someone he threw himself to the door using a moment of inattention.

He was almost safe outside. He even got rid of his illusion to be more comfortable during the runaway, but before he got to went out he fell on someone.

He staggered back trying to catch his balance.

He leaned on a scepter and then finally looked at the person guilty of his failure.

It was Darcy.

"What the…" He started Loki but then he felt someone grabbing the scepter. Okay, that was definitely more important now.

The god quickly considered what shall he do. Melting those people wasn't the best solution, especially with the mortal next to him who would probably try to murder him if he murdered someone on her eyes.

That is if she didn't already come with this intention in there. And as much as he knew he could easily get rid of her, he had enough as for one day and he surely would have to explain to the Grandmaster - who despite all his action clearly liked Darcy - why isn't she with him.

The only thing left to do was dispose of with them in a less… deadly way.

So he turned around hitting a surprised man in a thigh with his leg. As the thick one loosed the handle on the scepter Loki pulled it out of his hands and hit the man in the face with its end.

That was enough to make him fall dazed on a floor.

But he forgot about the thirteen-year-old still sitting in the corner. When Loki looked up at him the only thing he wanted to do was facepalming himself.

The kid was holding a gun.


	10. Chapter 10

Darcy, who stood next to Loki slowly raised her hands. The god only looked at the thief with focus.

"Put that aside." An ordered boy aiming at them, though he still looked shocked that Zakary is not really Zakary.

"There's no need to be nervous." Tried to convince him Loki. "I'm just going to take that and never come b…" He felt an angry kick on his tibia. "Au." He hissed surprised, looking angrily at Darcy.

"Just put that on the floor." She told him.

"Is that what you came here for? To help him, not yourself?" Loki frowned.

"I came here alive and I want to leave alive." She answered visibly angry with Loki, probably still because of what he did when they left the tower. The god sighed. It was going to be harder than he expects.

"Push that to me." Said the kid. Loki wanted to say something again, but Darcy just did what the boy told them to.

"You don't negotiate with a terrorist." She whispered so only Loki could hear her. The god rolled his eyes.

This kid could be dangerous but to call him terrorist was a huge exaggeration.

"Don't talk to each other." Little 'terrorist' said slowly coming to the door and still aiming at them.

Darcy frowned but said nothing more. Loki wasn't that lenient.

"See, we just want the scepter. It's nothing personal. You will calmly live your life in that nice mansion without hoards of people wanting to take that away from you and we will gladly complete our task without unnecessary bloodshed." He explained as convincing as he could. "Can we agree on that?"

But that was a huge mistake.

The kid who was now right next to the door fired into the ceiling.

A bit of dust and a few, tiny pieces of wood fell from the ceiling and then…

Nothing happened.

The kid wanted to shoot again, but the gun just clicked a few times.

It was empty.

The thief didn't lose time. He threw the weapon away and run to catch the scepter.

Darcy hurried after him as fast as she could, but the kid already got to catch what he wanted. She threw herself at him. Unlikely he was faster again. He ran outside the house making her lost her balance and fall on the floor.

She quickly stood up and wanted to run after him, but she heard Loki's voice.

"Mortal, don't bother to, he knows this place much better than you, you will never going to catch him."

Darcy glared at him.

Oh no, she was not going to give up that easily!

She ignored the god's words, ran out of the house and went after the thief. She saw his blurry figure in the opposite end of the narrow alley between the buildings. Maybe it wasn't all lost.

When she was running her skirt started to cumber her the first time since she arrived in Sakaar. When she was hurrying after the thief it constantly got tangled up her legs and she had to jump awkwardly in order not to fall.

It was really slowing her down, but somehow she did not lose the boy yet.

When she turned right after him he was still running through the next alley.

Darcy took a few deep breaths and tucked her skirt. Yes, that was definitely going to help her.

Now she was speeding even faster than before. She was losing the boy on every turn, but then she always caught the glimpse of him and ran in the right direction.

As time passed it was getting harder and harder for her to breathe. She was slowing down and she already thought she won't get to catch the thief.

But suddenly, when she ran around another corner, she stopped dead.

In the alley, just a few meters away from her there was standing Loki with a scepter in his palm and his other hand wrapped around the thief's arm.

Darcy let go of her skirt making it lay itself loosely around her legs.

"Mischief!" She snarled still breathing heavily and before Loki could stop her, she went to him and also caught the scepter. "You said there's no sense in running after him, hm?"

"Not for you." The god smiled with pity. Darcy felt dizzy from anger that raised in her and she squeezed the scepter so hard, her knuckles turned white.

Then, the kid suddenly kicked Loki in the tibia. The god groaned surprised and before he got to tighten the grip on his arm, the thief was running away.

But they had the scepter.

"Why it had to be tibia again?" He asked a rhetorical question frowning in pain.

Darcy raised eyebrows and smiled sweetly.

"It's clearly a popular choice today."

Now the god was the one to glare at her. They stood there for a few seconds, both holding the scepter as hard as they could, so the other one won't be able to snatch it and run away.

Finally, when Loki stopped thinking about his hurting tibia, he slowly, trying to look as honorable as he could straighten up and said.

"I admit that it was nice working with you, but now I suppose it's time for us to split up." He smiled with satisfaction and reached to his pocket, but…

He found nothing.

He frowned and checked the other one-nil.

"Is that what you're looking for?" Darcy smiled at him taking the pilot out of her own pocket.

"When?" Loki couldn't believe it. Did she fool him? He was always the one to trick others.

"When you were miserably trying to convince the kid to give the scepter to you." She explained fully satisfaction.

When Loki took a closer look at her, he noticed she didn't even have her round transmitter hooked to the arm anymore.

"Now, you won't just run away." She said and before he noticed what's going on she riveted one of his hands in one part of handcuffs and one of hers in the other to make sure he really won't run away.

"Come on, are you serious right now?" Loki looked at her defeated.

"I'm not going to let you fool me again." She said distinctly. "Tricky Loki."

"Where did you even took that from?" He asked and sighed deeply.

"Garbage dump along with the funny, wooden clock. I have it in my pocket. This garbage dump here it's like one, big store with used things except it stinks and you don't have to pay." She explained smiling the wider the more disgust she saw on Loki's face.

"Can you get even more primitive?" He asked though he seemed to talk more to himself then to the mortal.

Darcy sighed on him with disapproval.

"Can you get even more pretentious?" She retorted. "Besides it's not like you have a choice."

The god looked at her with a tired expression, wondering what choice did she have in mind.

"Don't tell me you want to tangle me in your, obviously ineffective and obviously doomed to failure plan of running away." He stated with so desperate voice, that Darcy almost regretted him.

Almost.

"It goes like that." She started and cleared her throat before explaining. "We go back to the tower. We got to the level with ships. You set me some autopilot to earth, get me some of those teasing things and make sure to go to the Grandmaster only after I fly away. You give him the scepter and tell him whatever you want about me. And we both profit."

The god blinked a few times. He didn't realize that this kind of exit of the situation was even available before he heard that plan.

Of course, it was very underdeveloped and a lot of things could go wrong, but it wasn't impossible.

So Loki rolled his eyes, just to show off, but answered with a resigned tone.

"Let it be, mortal."


End file.
